Be patient. You will find the words. If you listen. They will come.

Monday July, 13th, 2015, will be a day I will remember.

Baby "Sandy Candy" Age 3

On this day, because of a conversation my spunky Mama had on her famous bus rides from the suburbs of New Jersey to Manhattan...

I was humbly invited to speak live on TV about my work....

Now.

Expressing one's deepest feelings, inspirations, and missions to the core of cores in your first language may feel like a vulnerable breeze...

However, a language that one was born into first spoke before any other...but has kept quiet of for most of her life...is a very different story.

I did it.

On Monday July 13th,  2015. I spoke on live TV... Live Russian TV...in America..right outside of the regaton blasting, salsa fasting, Washington Heights....in a tiny little Russian TV studio run by what felt like a family...I spoke for hours upon hours. In Russian.

It all happened. somehow. Like a Russian dream.

Morning show, "Contact,"  with charismatic and charming Host, Boris Tenzer.

Who, told me, within the first few seconds of our greeting ...." Do not be alarmed of my shaved head...I always shave and keep a bald head  in the summer! I'm OK! Promise!"

Followed by deep adorable laughter and a smile that takes over his entire face.. An honest laugh...and  deep glances into my eyes.

" Let's begin," he says...

....and he pours me a cup of green tea, he brewed at home before he came here...to, " Save Time..." he winks and giggles...

A room filled with VHS tapes in bookshelves and desks... autographed headshots ( from what seemed like the 1990s.)

 I was in bliss.

I loved the VHS tapes everywhere.

I loved the view of the parking lot and the GW Bridge.

 I loved the 90s Russian music playing, and the radio talk shows blasting in the background.

I loved how crazy it was that I was about to do a live interview in Russian. In   my most expensive bright orange dress and my purple blazer I have worn since I was 16.

Boris says, " I heard it's best to forget about your birthday each year...not celebrate it or make a big deal out of it..keeps you younger! And short hair cuts...they keep you younger too!"

and another glorious contagious laugh!

How would this all happen?


Being that my vocabulary in the Russian language, as a speaker, is intermediate..

As a listener, advanced....

My accent is thick...

My heart and passion do my best, is solid..

After many years of harsh corrections and ridicule of my accent when I spoke my native language....More often I felt bashful of my ability.

As an adult, I have never held a very deep meaningful conversation in Russian...and there I was..with Boris..so desperately wanting to explain to him why I do what I do...what lead me here...what makes me wild and inspired...what fuels fury and worry..and yet he says patiently to me...with kind eyes in our pre-interview session...

" Be patient. You will find the words."

and I did.


The remarkable miracles in the ability to speak passionately, honestly and vulnerably in another language.

It was a miracle!

It was as if a language angel whispered in my ear. I spoke deeply and tenderly through my heart.

Post show photo with Boris Tenzer

Boris welcomed me.

We took every breathe together as we conversed about my art, live on air.

The central topic was my beloved solo piece: Lost in Lvov.


 He really asked me, "Why?" ....and nudged me to really dig deep into my mind's inspiration to share with his viewers.... "Why?"

... this work, my work, my passionate interest in the immigration experience... as well as my deep curiosity in turning our painful memories into beautiful works of art...why a woman of my generation would be interested in such a thing...why I rather not go out with friends and " enjoy life like a young person does?!"

To me.

This is what life is for.

To me.

This is what enjoying life looks like:

The ability to be free.

What really touched me the most....

Half way through...Boris, opened up the phone lines for callers.

 A few very touching comments from people.

Sweet little sounds of Babushka ( Little Grandma sounding voices).

Perhaps I wished it was my Grandmother or Grandfather who lived long enough to see me talk about  them LIVE on the same black and white TV they found in a garage sale..

To hear me speak of my inspiration....and share the ups and downs of my career choices and life road blocks and pathways...

To hear me speak of it all...in the language they taught me.

As a child, I watched the  Russian TV Network with my Babushka Lina. We watched Russian films, concerts, music videos and soap operas...


Today...you can enjoy this sweet little interview too.

Thank you....

English subtitles coming soon! ( However I do slip in a few English words here an there...:)

Click here to watch LIVE Interview with BORIS TENZER

Depths of soul pocket explorations. Re-tracing footsteps. Re-focusing purpose. Realizing the meanings and source essence of bliss and freedom

Bi-coastal & International manifestations blossom with a patient virtuous heart.

My goal has always been to follow the energy wave paths of the bliss clouds in my  eye opening perimeters....to listen quietly to the  hidden messages in the energy waves seen and unseen. To prosper and dance in the  peace and chaos....to linger an extra moment in the present.... when I feel I may just be pushed a tender second off the edge... into ecstasy and surprise.

Here. I. Am. Here. I. Go

Life has pushed pulled my soul in many directions upon my first arrival to, " The City of Angels."

Viva  Los Angeles!


After a five year eccentric, passionate, roller-coaster, ocean-wave, adventure in beautiful Los Angeles...I followed my bliss ride in LALA Land...an opening push presented itself to guide me back to the concrete apple island of raw-eccentricities of New York City!

Since my wings dropped me off in the electric land of New York City..the vibration climate of reality and love has surrounded me with inspiration, raw-comfort and liberation.



Nesting in a new home in the outer boros of Manhattan... Finding the perfect Tango milonga to exercise my soul fever. Acquainting myself with the electric energy ( and stairs) of this concrete island once again, Using my body as my sole vehicle to get around this concrete world, while navigating the balance of artistic and pedestrian " regular people life" life, has been a tango-chess-roulette dance of it's own


The challenges  and re-directions I whole heartily embraced!

With every cockroach I've met. Mouse and cat sized rat pack, I've almost run over. Lovers caught in passionate rendezvous--  I've eavesdropped with glances in  admiration.... I am surrounded the overflowing waves with this abundant absorption of energy,

 The city. This city. Full of opportunity pulsing in every nook and cranny of existence.

I am grateful for all of the training, experience, and heart- earned-mastered-strength, I've collected, while paving the padding of my heart in LA..

I landed in NYC. Full of  the ambition like hunger of a gypsy lion caught accidentally in a dessert breeze.










Creating LOST IN LVOV, was a long bittersweet voyage.


 As soon as I arrived back to NYC, I quickly returned to perform an incredible one night only, granted concert performance with my beloved band ensemble with featured musicians from PARIS CHANSONS.


This short and sweet performance was produced by The City of West Hollywood and Lena Bubenechik!

We shared our hearts in The West Hollywood Library! The sounds of these sweet musician's melodies, voices,and tunes still leave tingles and goosebumps on my  mind's skin..... Grateful for Julia and Jacob Kantor, Endre Balogh and Kassandra Kocoshis!

Lost in Lvov collaboration with Paris Chansons ensemble 2015


This piece was blessed with the soul creation of many hands and hearts. Including my incredible NYC Team: Director Marina McClure and Lighting/Sound designer Shelly Rodriquez, fellow CalArts Powerhouse women alum!

 I feel so fortunate for every single collaborator who guided and inspired each step of this journey.

 Upon arriving to NYC, I was awarded the news that my beloved solo piece LOST IN LVOV was invited to perform in Warsaw, Poland as part of United Solo Europe.

My dream with this piece and with any of my pieces and art, is to have the ability to travel and see the world while sharing very intimate, non-traditional ideas of cultural influenced art making, womanhood, immigration, love, passion, and healing,

 My dream embrace: To create art as a vehicle of healing and transformation...bringing  art of physical storytelling, based in personal narrative to communities  which I've always day dreamed of... while staring and spinning a globe round and round....while dancing to the entire pretty woman soundtrack...mixed with Paula Abdul and Modonna...in my childhood bedroom.

....and most importantly... sharing the gift of dreaming, movement, play, connection to humans in far out places and lands...that almost feel like different planets..... yet to be discovered by my imagination soul heart.

The invitation to share my work in  Poland came as a shock and dream.

Lost in Lvov invited to POLAND!!

I instantly knew. I instantly  understood.

....With the close proximity of Poland to Ukraine ( next door neighbors)  I would make the pilgrimage back to my home land of Ukraine..the beloved city that I dream of..Lvov......the beloved land which lives in my dream's dreams....

and most of all, most of all the all, I knew, my dear Mama, would come with me. She had no choice... and we would retrace the 26 years of her life before taking a chance on the American dream in her voyage to America.

Before preparations for my European- homecoming--the gracious energy of solo performance bliss sharing lead me to the incredible city of Toronto! For 3 days I graced the quaint and sweet lands of Toronto, Canada and theatrically played with idea hungry Torontonians!

Artistic Director of SOULO Festival in Toronto, Canada : Tracey Erin Smith! What a powerhouse! What an inspiration!

The city of Toronto was filled with tram lines kissing the sky. Friendly features and sweet hospitality. an artistic ambiance in the neighborhood of Leslieville, where I rested my head...and the sweet spot of The Sand Castle Theater, where I shared ideas, performed my work and lead workshops with beautiful beings..with wide open hearts as wide open as their eyes and tender energy waves.

I felt so welcome, taken care of, and at home, with my new Torontonian friends and teammates! I hope to come back for longer embraces,workshops, with solo performances mixed with bliss!

Post show, audience talk backs in Toronto! Thank you SOULO Festival!

Next up....a glimpse and taste of voyage to Warsaw, Lvov, and Krakow.....the twists and turns and dream, time-machine, did it really happen- like happenstances... dropped on me, like lemon drop-mixed-rain-drop-sparkles.....

Stay tuned....