My Mission Statement

One Month has passed since I've landed on planet CalArts..The most free-spirited, collaborative, inspirational place in the universe .

A huge part of this program is to create a space in this world where your passions and dreams come true, and are not just crazy thoughts and idea s you never act on. This is the place where all of your inhibitions and aspirations in life start---nothing is unreasonable or over the top. You can have anything, do anything, be anyone, and dream big-very big.

I'd like to share a recent assignment with my community and support group because, I felt while writing this ..a HUGE shift started in my world. I realized things about myself I knew that I felt and thought, but always had ...a fear to act on it, or say out loud because I felt that maybe it was selfish for me to dream so big. I felt a fear that my dreams and passions could hurt my family and loved ones around me because these dreams would take me all over the world and on an open-ended adventure. into the unknown..

But if those are indeed the things that make me feel alive, complete and feel like my life is mine I'm living freely--then how can I stop self from spreading all my love and art to impact other people's lives, and make me, a stronger and more fulfilled person?

I shared these feelings with a few of my loved ones back home, and am happy to say I have support and love given back to me---fear and feelings of missing one another of course are over-powering..but if you love me, and if you believe in my cause and desire to live an artistic path--how can you want me not to fly... Here is a recent quote someone dear to me, wrote, in a correspondence about my recent choices to be in California...and in regards to my mission statement you will soon read..

"You are a wonderful person, and what you are doing is beautiful and inspirational, and frankly, it’s what life is all about. I would never try to hold you back any more than I would try to stop the sun from shining or a bird from flying..."

Below is my first draft of my mission statement project. We were asked to answer lots of questions on a stream of consciousness/pen to paper/not stopping/just writing and writing and writing freely...Some questions were.Who are you? What do you do? Why do you do it? Who do you do it for? How are you perceived?How do you WANT to be perceived?What is your purpose? What is your motto? What makes you feel happiness? What do you want to be known for? What do you want? What do you REALLY want?....

We had to present a timed 4 minute presentation in class of our mission statement.. I dressed up in my " Cambio" Latin-dancing red red gown that was custom made for me at the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare festival. Tiara on my head...I sat on a Russian gypsy tapestry that belonged to my dear Aunt Anya....and surrounded myself with photos of my family, friends, and important objects that have been passed down to me or I've collected over the years. I started my presentation singing an old Russian folk song " Krutzezya Vertzezya Shar Galuboy" ( The spinning and turning of the blue ballom) ( My Babushka Fania taught me this song while were were berry picking upstate. I was 5/6 years old. I remember this very vividly because it felt like the first time we ever bonded. She was depressed for many years after coming to America, and I didn't feel alot of warmness from her compared to all my other family members...when she taught me this song I saw patience in her eyes and delicate words from her mouth. I saw her pain and her memories. Even as a little girl-I told myself to remember this moment that my Baba and I bonded for the first time.We were staying in a summer bungaloo colony in upstate New York...full of tons of Brooklynite Russian seniors. It was for their talent show. Every old little Babushka cried when I sang this song...and I'll never forget it) I sang one verse of this special song to begin my presentation in class....then I read my mission statement to my classmates as follows....

I am Sandy Simona. I am an artist, actor, dancer, singer, writer and lover of the human expression. I do this work for my soul, my mind, my blood, and my heart…most importantly I do this work for my health and a constant reminder I was given a chance to live freely and will do so living my life on the path that I’ve dreamed of. I do this work to fulfill the American dream and all the sacrifices my family made so that I could have the opportunity to live in a free world and make decisions with my life on my own terms. I do this work because it makes me feel alive. I feel the most free, powerful, peaceful, and healthy when I’m involved in a creative process that is meaningful and will make an impact on people’s lives for the moments they go on my artistic adventure with me, whether it be a viewer, colleague or director. My mission in life is to dance, and listen to sounds around me that fill up my blood with excitement and let me be the most free with movement and expression through my body.

My mission is to bring intimacy and healing power and passion to my work. My sensitivity and raw emotion I give freely to audiences—and I want to gain the skills to do this safely and powerfully, and to always find innovative and inspiring ways to create and live through my art.

My mission is to create my own work, rich with my Russian-Jewish upbringing and incorporate my culture into creative pieces where I can sing, act, dance and direct, and maintain the stories of my family.

My mission is to create a one woman show playing all the characters of my eccentric Russian family, write plays and screenplays all of which are based off of short stories I’ve written about my familiy’s immigration to the US, as well as their life in the Soviet Union. ( Specific topics are my grandparents love story, both maternal and paternal side. As well as my Grandfather Misha’s arrest and detainment in the Soviet Union for ten years, my parents story, my families voyage to America, my Actress Aunt’s rebellion to run away with a poet and a theatre company—leading to her young death of cancer on my sixteenth birthday, another really important create a piece of work I am committed to creating is about my own recent battle with cancer---which opened my eyes to LIFE and took the fog away from my vision of waiting for life to happen..

My missions is to love and respect myself, make time for my family and close friends. To share my love and admiration for the people in my life, and stay away from negative thoughts or jealousy. To learn how to communicate my thoughts, ideas and emotions in way that is clear and makes sense.

My mission is to make time for the things that bring me joy and peace, and not lose myself or lose sight of my mission and purpose in life.

My mission is to be filled with passion that fuels my soul mentally, sexually, emotionally, and physically and surround myself openly and with integrity and honesty about what truly adds colorful light, support, and possibility to my being.

My mission is to be a successful artist and make a living off of my work and live successfully, financially. To make a living off my art and have a comfortable life. My mission is to have a network of work all over the world, and to travel with my art. I want work seriously all over Europe/South America and everything in between.... and spend a couple years creating and networking as a world traveler.I’m extremely eager to work internationally in as many languages as possible.

My mission is rebuild the gap between Lviv,Ukraine and my family. I'm dedicated to visit their childhood homes, schools, lives from the past and finding art and beauty to create for them with the memories they left behind---to help heal the pain that was caused there for them..by turning their stories into a legacy of art that can be remembered and cherished forever.

My mission is to be in love with my partner who can fuel my work and whose life, purpose and vision is aligned with mine so that I can live my life with a soul mate who can go on my voyage with me, and experience my mission with me as well as I experience their artistic , powerful and colorful voyage with them, and not grow a part because of my dedication and passion for my life goals, but to grow together and have a lifetime of passion,support, and unconditional love.

Love very much fuels me and I want to be surrounded by love and unconditional support, that keeps me living, breathing, creating, and feeling.

My mission is to be cancer free, make healthy choices, to be grateful, peaceful, mindful, confident, loving, and open-minded, know my self-worth and never lose track of my mission in life.

What is your mission in life? I hope you can share it with me..

when is the right time to start?

Well friends, I've been contemplating when is the appropriate time to start up my blog again....should I write and share my thoughts with the world? Do I want people from my past that I do not keep in touch with to be able to know my day to day life and thoughts by a curious google or facebook stalk? Do I want to keep my journey personal? private? So many thoughts about this topic...what the " right "thing to do may or may not ever unfold...but I'm realizing that as an artist..its my duty to take risks, and not worry about failure, or what if--especially considering the choices I've made as of lately.

So--if that does indeed mean that the whole world will be able to read what I have to say, and perhaps it will touch them in some way, that's fine with me.... make them think about something they never thought of...spark an interest or passion somewhere deep within them---then why not? If it makes someone from my past reach out to me and reconnect---or help us make peace within friendships/ relationships that may have ended painfully ...then I open up the lines of communication to reach out to me and let me know you are reading this, and lets recconnect. Otherwise-please enjoy and please share with me your thoughts on my journey---if you like :).Or just be an annonomous reader and be inspired!


Where to start and where to begin.

I've traveled across the country NYC-LA on a most amazing adventure I could have dreamed of. I never thought of myself as a road trip type of gal---but this voyage changed me and truly felt like I was an onion and all the layers peeled off, piece by piece. Seeing the landscape change, the cities, the cultures, farms, mountains, caves, deserts,green, red, brown, blue, black, and repeat.... The further away I got from NY the more I began to realize that my fear of holding on to what is comfortable and safe is silly....life is so beautiful and exciting. The United States is beautiful, diverse, and welcoming. When you take a leap in the direction of the path you want to be on, and the path that you are SUPPOSED to be on...the world really does open itself up to you, and it just feels so good.


Highlights of my cross country trip:
1.Bonding with David; sometimes we didn't even listen to the radio, we just talked for hours...I realized even more so on this trip how lucky I am to have an anchor like him in my life with so much unconditional love, support and friendship.
2.Discovering healthy/delicious/funky places to eat and sleep ....all spontaneously, en route from one state to another..being spontaneous in general was a HUGE step for me.
3.Seeing the landscape change from dark, humid, musky to light, fiery, spicy
4.The Green mountains of Colorado, the underground hot spring cave under the Rockies
5.Sleeping in the deserts of Utah and discovering what an International wonder the national parks are.
6.Driving through the Arches, and witnessing the breathtaking red rock wonder.
7. Entering LA and really taking in that this is my new home, that I earned this, I worked for this, and ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is possible.

The first two weeks of living in the suburban town nearby CalArts wasn't exactly easy for me. First of all, I am on my own now, David flew back to NYC and will remain there, I'm here on this voyage solo...which is in many many ways how we both wanted it to be. Also....coming from such a compact, crazy, hustler type schedule in NYC....to a calm, no-plans, no idea where anything is or how things work around here, no friends or family nearby....was not easy for me, living with roommates for the first time in over 5 years....it wasn't easy..and I'm sure it will never be " easy"...but those who know me, know I don't like it "easy" either.

It has been an adjustment...but I can't really complain, I'm very happy with my choice to live where I live. I'm 10 mins from school ( 3 miles) , have a HUGE room with a walk- in closet,my own bathroom ( for NYC standards, you would pee your pants...I did a little bit ), close to a million stores, malls, shopping centers, trains,parks,30 minutes from downtown LA ( just like my commute from Astoria to LES for work in NYC---ahh I miss all my Ludlow-ites and all my clients back home)....that's all I'll really need for the next 3 years. Living with roommates--especially women I've never met, was nerve-racking for me at first because of my past experiences in college that sometimes going in seemed SO exciting, but being immature and young turned into a dramatic, uncomfortable saga... But here,I live with 2 other artists who are in their 2nd year of CalArtsl..and they are in different departments than me---we will all be super busy once school starts, and I feel like once the ground rules are set about how to make living together as easy as can be...then there is no drama to fear.

Now for my final section and thoughts of my first LA blog... my first 2 days of CalArts orientation...

I spent the last 2 days full of a word that I can't really describe. I don't have the vocabulary to describe how I feel..I hope one day I will. My body felt like pins and needles, my heart was full of so much love and inspiration, and I wanted to scream at the topic of my lungs how in love I am with what I'm about to be part of. Being here for me is like putting every dream, every thought, every desire, every fear, every absurd idea, every craving, every UNREASONABLE want and need I could ever ever EVER think of and yearn for..in one place for me to play and roll around in with support and love and tools to make it happen----because every other person here, faculty...students..alums, and everything in between--they all want it just as bad, and they want to collaborate and use their art with yours to make it happen. It's insane. I've never in a million years thought something like this could exist, I always thought I was the only person whose brain functioned this way and heart yearned to create and learn like this, and here I am with thousands of others, and I'm floating.

Floating, indeed. The faculty gave us the most remarkable welcome with their supportive speeches that brought chills throughout my body, and mascara dripping down my face. Alumni performed for us, current students welcomed us with excitement and open arms ... all of the incoming theatre grad students stood up within each department ( we have SO many departments, I'm amazed) were asked to stand and were applauded and honored. It really felt surreal...and even my explanation now can't even come close to how exciting it felt to be in an incredible space like the MOD theatre ( there are only 2 or 3 other MODS in the world) and have all these artists who are ready to create with you, support you, applaud you, and inspire you.

My classmates are dreamy. Such an eclectic group of actors from all walks of life. I'm amazed with warm, beautiful first impressions. I'm curious about who they are,what their story is, and how our relationships will develop.

A brief overview of my first semester is 17 credits..Class 9-4/5 M-F. Rehearsals 5pm onwards most days, including saturdays. Voice ( linklater), Speech, Alexander technique, Directing lab ( Actor MFA and Directing MFA students in one class not only studying directing but putting up scenes with directing students and sometimes mixing up media with other MFA artists), Acting Studio ( which will focus on film noir and for the first part of our semester we will be collaborating in class with other grad students in puppetry, film production, and music schools), Thai-Chi, Africian dance, Puppetry, Play Analysis...and I will also audition to take singing lessons as an extra class. ( One of many things that is remarkable at CalArts, is that you are welcome to take any extra classes you really feel passionate and curious about, on top of your core classes--for no extra cost...and if you feel VERY strongly that you do not need to take a required class because you have a strong background in it already, you are supported and welcome to take another class that can contribute to your creative training and process...and sometimes if you do not have room in your schedule for it, the professors are open to a independent study. Everyone here is passionate about creating and collaborating...)

Some things I am VERY passionate about diving into aside from my acting training:
1) Jazz singing..and singing in general. Creating a solid vocal technique and book of music, songwriting as well.
2) Acting abroad and working internationally with international artists..especially Europe and Russia..creating that network starting this summer.
3) Writing ALOT...especially a play, a one woman show and a cabaret with international music and monolouges in Russian and perhaps yiddish and spanish..
4) Learning how to choreograph and develop my unique style and better technique
5) Become tech savvy

I will end with this...

what I realized yesterday after our all school meeting and celebration...

Everything I've ever experienced up to this point lead me to this point. All the craziness, obstacles, triumphs, loves, heartaches, sickness,cancer, fear, fights,deaths, births, relationships, voyages, curiosities, all the hard work, all the dreams and nightmares, all of it---literally all of it lead me to this point...to being accepted into a community like this one. I WILL thrive here, create, dream and flourish...I really want to live the life I always imagined I could live, from giving myself fully into this craft and this art. I'm the luckiest woman alive...and I hope that one day, each of you that read this could feel what I feel,and feel the gratitude for life and what it can offer if you take the leap and follow your dreams unreasonably...

Voyage to Cal Arts part 2

talk about being in the right place at the right time...
It was 130pm when the orientation for NYC Cal Arts MFA auditions finished, I was shaken up with excitement, anxiety and nerves. The passionate presentation of what the Cal Arts program entails stirred up tears of encouragement that a place like this exists. I knew the program was considered experimental and very prestigous but I didn't realize how interdisciplinary ( which is what I LOVE because I want to do every aspect of creating art and yearn for an environment that supports and teaches me how to not only technique for all styles of acting, but dance, move, sing, direct, play and collaborate with other MFA candidates that are as passionate as I am...just thinking of doing all those things on a daily basis gives me the butterflies of a first date ..) The two cal arts representatives were Mirjiana Jokovic and Nataki Garret, and the moment they started talking I was impressed with how REAL they were, totally accessible. Many other programs feel like we need to impress them and get their attention. Mirjiana and Nataki presented a passionate, sincere, and deep conversation about what their program stood for.

Orientation over. It was 130pm. My call time for my off-bway gig was at 2pm downtown on the Lower East Side. There was NO way I was going to make it by 2pm, so I figured maybe I can just stick around and pray that I'll be seen within the next half hour, so I can take a cab downtown and make it a "little late".

The clock was ticking, I was #10 or so on the list. I begged #3 to switch with me, and she saved me. ( GOD BLESS THIS GIRL)We swapped times! I walked in the room almost feeling like " I just need to do my best and get out so I can make it downtown in time, lets make this good! don't screw up sandy...just do it and LEAVE! ahh" and what did I do? I had the best emotional connection to my dramatic piece, laughed my butt of at myself in my comedic piece, more then I ever did before---may have been a mix of nerves, excitement, and simplicity. After an interesting movement adjustment with my Shakespeare piece, a moving and honest conversation about why I'm an artist and what I'm looking to gain out of graduate school,and many more things that will be left for my own memories....it was already 230..THIRTY minutes AFTER MY CALL TIME for my show!

I excused myself politely, RAN into the chaos of Times Square, BEGGED a cabbie to drive as fast as he could downtown. Made it to my show with only 5 minutes before curtain.

My cast mates were screaming and yelling with excitement when I came into the dressing room glowing from the one and only audition that felt like a mutual connection---I felt the feeling that many of my mentors always told me about, " You know when it feels right, it just does, that's when you know what program you belong in, it will just make sense"....and it did. Kind of like love?

One month later, ( after 30 days of sleepless nights fantasizing about what my life would be like at Cal Arts. Researching the program, alumni, current students, etc every free moment I had) became my daily routine.....and then, the call came.

I was at the gym about to personal train a client, I saw a missed call from a blocked number, and voicemail. It was the Co-head of the department congratulating me. I started screaming, yelling, crying and jumping on top of my client and everyone in sight! Not one person had any idea what I was going crazy about! " She won the lotto??" " Her BF proposed on the phone?" " She's insane?" and many more questions were being thrown around the small east village gym. I said, " I got into GRAD SCHOOL! My DREAM SCHOOL! I'm moving to LA! I got into CAL ARTS" After eyes rolled, and laughs were exchanged by gym go-ers, everyone went back to their workouts and ignored me.

Not one person really understood or could comprehend what was so exciting about that--I work in a gym remember?

I called my mom 7 times, and as usual she doesn't pick up. I called my dad, he picks up after the first ring " what happened" in his thick Russian -mafia -style- husky voice..." I got in! I got in! I got in! " ( me yelling). His response " Relax, calm down, calm down, CALM DOWN, I'll talk to your mother about this" he says. " ARE YOU CRAZY? what do you need to talk to her about? I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL!" and he again says" Ok. Calm down" ...that's the story of my life. My family of course thinking I'm insane and not sharing my excitement because they always think good news brings bad luck, and I shouldn't share it with anyone....I don't get it.

Finally David, my #1 fan and anchor in life, calls me back after a text saying " CALL NOW" he says calmly " Is it what I think it is?" and I say in the most calm tone I'm capable of producing " YES" we share an exchange of " I can't believe it", etc...and he tells me how proud of me he is, and how I worked so hard for this, I deserve this, my hard work pays off, and this is the beginning of my new life, proof that my dreams will come true because I'm unstoppable- everyone needs someone like him in their life. Someone who unconditionally supports your crazy passions and goals in life, someone who believes in who you are and will never, ever let you give up, even when you feel like your running a marathon that never ends. How could someone be so happy and proud of me when my dream includes moving to the other side of the country away from them? Thats my anchor, he sees this as the best thing that could have happened to me, and will stand by me if I go to China or Pluto, as long as I'm following my passion. We drank a bottle of champagne we saved for 2 years for this special occasion. Saved the cork. Took pictures and a video blog of the day I'll never forget--they day I got accepted into a graduate program to earn my Masters in Fine Arts in Acting--at my #1 choice program. My dream to train as a professional, respected, artist.

It has been a bumpy ride the last few months since my acceptance into Cal Arts---- with my family. They still do not fully understand why I'm leaving my comfortable and " stable " life in NYC to move across the country to earn a degree they don't understand and follow a passion they do not fully comprehend or support. I feel selfish at times for my choices. I feel like I make them suffer by being an Actor. Yet-this is my life and I know this is my path. What the end result is--no one knows. The common question is " How will this help you be a " better actor"? Or " What kind of job will you have after? Will you work right away? How will you pay off your loans?" New questions every time I make a new decision pertaining to my career in the art.

Of course I wish there was a simple answer to respond to these annoying and negative curiousities--I'm aware that they are real things I should be thinking about and prepared to deal with---but I rather not go through my life worrying about what's going to happen after I do this or that, and how I'll do this or that in the future...I want to live right now. I want every day to be filled with a life that makes me feel ALIVE and completely fulfilled, passionate, stimulated, loved, inspired, emotional, blessed, and here I am...one step closer to being fully immersed in an prestigious, professional ,training program, that brings all those things into my world.

My world is pretty amazing as we speak. I'm healthy, which is #1, have love around me, a job I enjoy, and my art that I'm passionate about. An MFA will only bring me to the next level. The training, network of artists, and lifestyle I will achieve my my three years will be an investment for the rest of my life as a professional artist....I can not get that any other way---other then taking a break from this " comfy" world I live in now, and jump into a pool of the unknown.

So..UNKNOWN world---here I come. I've accepted my offer to Cal Arts. I'm sending in my deposit this month, and making the big move across the country in August. Where will I live? I'll figure it out. How will I survive? I'll make it work. What will I do with my life back in NYC? It will always be there for me, and the people who love and support me will always be there for me, my true support system will never disappear. What will I gain? Everything. My dreams are not just fairy tales, they are real, and my life will never, ever be the same, and I don't want it to be.

I'm ready for the ride. Let's do it.

ZUMBA open classes

Curious about Zumba?

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201 E67st/ 3ave
Tuesdays @920am and Sundays @ 11am

see a sample of my Zumba class www.youtube.com/thesandypt

for more info about ZUMBA, visit www.zumba.com

Fate...

I sit here in exhaustion and exhileration from the last 2 months of anticipation post grad school auditions. I had a roller coaster ride process going from one appointment to the next. One appointment I didn't plan myself was written in the stars for me. I don't want to sound cliche. I hate cliche. I laugh at cliche. But---BUT somethings are just meant to be....and this is one of them. I went to the Double Tree hotel in Times Sq hoping to be seen by an " undisclosed " MFA program as a walk in ( as I was told to do by an administrator in this particular program via email to do) when I arrived to the hotel room of the auditor ( yes we have to audition in hotel rooms) the woman greeted me in a cold and awful manor. She seemed surprised that I came to audition, even though outside her door was a table that said " AUDITIONS. PLEASE FILL OUT FORM" She told me " Your here for a walk in? Hmm.... who sent you?You know there is a FEE for this audition?" I said, " Yes" with a huge smile...confused why she was being so cold and yucky. She slammed the door in my face and said she would be with me soon. Five minutes later she opened the door and told me ( in an empty hallway) that she could " squeeze me in." ...of course as long as I had payment. Long story short---I contemplated leaving the scene and taking my hard earned $40 bucks to go...but had my Aunt Anna's voice in my head to stay, stay, stay....so I did. The audition was cold and impersonal. She gave me a weird interview asking me questions that someone asks on the first date when they wish it was over. It was awful. I left sad and annoyed about the waste of time and money ( $40 is groceries or a cute pair of something :( )....and in the lobby of the hotel I saw a HUGE sign that said " CAL ARTS, 3rd Floor" ..... and that is when my life changed and fate took over.


To be continued.......

its time to take the next step and leave it up to the universe!

I come from a long line of courageous people. The most courageous of them all was my Aunt Anya. She was fearless, and never cared if our neighbors could overhear us as we sang made-up lyrics to songs. She lifted me up as if I were a ballerina, and she never let me fall when she dipped me down like a flamenco dancer. Although she dreamed of being an artist before life forced her to trade in her passions in order to provide for her family, she was the bravest, most vibrant person I knew. In her eyes I had the opportunity to be the artist that she always dreamed of becoming, who would recite Russian poetry, lead groups of over thirty people in Ballroom-Latin dances, and sing jazz standards with equal zeal. I wonder if she secretly knew that we were laying the foundation of a life long dream that I’ve continued to build upon ever since she passed away and handed me the torch.

With every project I’m cast in, I feel rewarded, challenged and eager to move to the next level. However, even though I’m consistently cast in Off-Broadway shows, independent films and regional productions, I always feel a little behind and bewildered compared to other actors who have the training I have not yet received. I’ve discovered that a huge tool I’m lacking is technique, specifically in voice, movement and classical work. Acting isn’t my only passion in the theatre arts world; I’ve always had a secret interest in the art of direction, playwrighting and experimenting with clowning, yet at the same time being able to have the technique to create a serious multidimensional character for dramatic work. Where else can I experiment all these creative juices and learn the skills to wear all these hats, other then a multidimensional Masters in Fine Arts program?

As I continue to pound the pavement, and talk to and watch my mentors, I’m learning that my roadblock to complete confidence and resilience is a serious technique regimen to solidify the already strong foundation I’ve created.

I am terrified of change, yet yearn for it. The decision to move toward a dream is not an easy one, especially in the arts where there are no guarantees of security or success. My career choices aren’t what my eccentric Russian immigrant family had in mind for me when they left everything they knew and moved to the United States. Their decision to relocate to the other side of the world was also a terrifying one, which they undertook in spite of their fears, so that I might never have to worry about my future or financial security. My grandmother Fania used to say that my “chutzpah” would allow me to accomplish anything. Others call this idea the “American Dream,” and I come from a family of believers.

Yet often I see a look of disappointment and confusion in my mother’s eyes. She stopped asking me why I am pursuing the arts, however my father still responds the same way, in the same order (say this to yourself in a heavy blue collar Russian accent to get the best version) : “Why aren’t you getting paid for this? Will this film be in the movie theatres? Are you on Broadway yet? Do you have an agent? Are you in the union? Hopefully it will work out. ” It crushes me when I hear them explain to others that I’m a personal trainer “…. and still trying to be an actor.” While they may not understand the choices I have made, it is because of them, their strength and certainty, that I am also strong, and certain of my path. My mom still makes jokes about the Equity Principal Actor line, comparing it to the bread line in the Soviet Union. We laugh and hug when she visits me in this line on her way to work; instead of Soviet bread, she brings me fruit and a Tupperware full of leftovers my dad made the night before. She leaves me with a sweet and hopeful look in her eyes. This keeps me going and pushes me even more to succeed.

Each day, for the last five years, I have packed a large rolling suitcase containing gym clothes for my job as a personal trainer, audition clothes, prep materials for auditions or scene study class, and endless music and monologues to study while en route. I am privileged to lead an incredible, challenging life, but I crave more. I need to take the next step in my life and I am starving for rigorous conservatory training for every aspect of the performing arts, to continue on the American Dream that my family laid before me. It would be easy to take a safer path, but it is not in my character, and it is not consistent with where I come from. I guess I’m just as crazy as the eccentric Russian clan that raised me, full of the Viv and vigor of my Aunt Anya, the chutzpah of my Grandma Fania and the fearless perseverance of my parents.

Sandy Levitan ( Sandy Simona ) personal statement 2010